Anonymous asked: Hey can you write a Chop Top x Reader where the Sawyers go on vacation with the Readers sh*tty and practically dysfunctional family? I know it’s so specific but I am currently on the sh*ttiest trip of my life and I need some comfort from my favorite cannibals. If my parents instigate a fight one more time I may go insane!!?!?! 🖤😛 Bullsh*t for brains (GN! Reader x Chop Top) GIF by passelofopossums Premise: Y/ns parents are being buttholes. Again. ON A VACATION. Chop Top comforts them Word count: 619, I know, it’s short Tw: swearing, slight angst, suggestive, fluff “Now I-I’m sorry y/n but your parents sure do have sticks up their asses…” Chop top observed with the his usual bluntness. Thankfully, you two were only on the balcony of the second floor of the Y/L/N Lake House, out of your parents hearing, and he had managed to keep his blunt remarks to a minimum in front of your parents. “You can sure as sh*t say that again…” y/n sighed, leaning their head on the shoulder of their significant other. Most of the trip had already gone wrong, from the canoes flipping over, to the storm that had trapped y/n and Chop Top in with their parents for a few days, to the lake being practically unusable from waste, but the worst thing of all seemed to be y/n’s parents, who seemed to have a favor for throwin’ sh*t at the fan right whenever things weren’t already bad enough. “It’s been the third time they’ve fought and it’s only two days into this damn vacation. They always seem so damn unhappy with me, like I can’t do anything right. They wanted me to get a partner, so I did. But noooo they can’t approve of him or anything. I’m just so sick of their constant disappointment in me…” Being a cannibal most would describe as a monster, few things could make Chop Tops heart throb like the crack in your voice whenever you brought up your parents. “Now, Y/n, hey…” Chop Top had never been particularly good with emotions, but he did know how it felt to be disproved of. I mean, people might’ve said that Vietnam was bad, but part of him liked the fact he didn’t have to deal with Draytons constant reminders of his inferiority. Part of him liked bein’ away from that. So he could understand how sh*tty it was to have what’s supposed to be your parental figures acting like damn fools. His hand reached over to squeeze your shoulder, almost subconsciously as he tucked a piece of wild hair behind your ear, poking it playfully. “Y’know, y/n… it really ain’t yer fault your parents are too f*ckin’ stupid to see how amazing you are. I mean, you’re successful, you’ve managed to get a boyfriend, you’re hot as sh*t, you’re smart, probably too smart, and… really. If they ain’t see all that, they just got bullsh*t for brains.” Y/n chuckles at that last analogy. “Bullsh*t for brains, huh? I like that one.” Y/n looked up at the setting sun, the colors blazing across the sky into what would eventually become darkness, and smiled a smile that always made Chop Top smirk in pride when he was the cause of it. Y/n always found some comfort in the lenses of Chop Tops point of view of the world… even if it was a bit… wonky, to say the least. “This is the part where you kiss me, babe.” Chop top teases, leaning in with an overdramatic duck lip that makes you snort out in laughter. “I am so not kissing that face…” Y/n laughs, pushing him playfully away. “Maybe- maybe just a bit…” y/n teases, grabbing Chop Tops face in the palm of their hands and planting a neat, brief, soft kiss on his lips, grinning at his face, which has light up like a child’s on their birthday. “Y-you know, I think you may just be the best thing that has ever happened to me.” Chop Top says with an almost uncharacteristic genuineness, poking your face to make up for it, almost as if he can’t remain serious for to long. “Now, let’s go bang.” He smirks, grabbing your waist. “In your dreams, dude.”
